Taking Things Too Personally

For my first twelve years, I used a family nickname. My immediate family, relatives, friends, and classmates knew me as Jamie. It was my name; I never thought much about it until the first day of seventh grade. In our growing suburb, various elementaries funneled into our junior high. It was there that I met a girl named Jamie. Junior high was difficult enough as a pre-teen meeting new people and switching classes all over campus. I didn't want the confusion and the teasing from my friends to continue one more day. I returned home from school that first afternoon and announced that I had changed my name to Jim. Through the years, I have met many other Jamie's; some were guys and some were girls. Now, I would tell my twelve-year-old self not to take things too personally.  

Taking things too personally isn't just for insecure junior high students. Social and news media streams overflow with people's reactions from taking things too personally. Discord erupts in friendships, families, sports teams, organizations, churches, and communities. When we take things too personally, often we are demanding recognition from others. Eventually, our pride as leaders will derail our teams and our mission. Achieving strong unity within a team requires that our mission defines our identity, helping us to place collective accomplishments above personal recognition.

The Apostle Paul stands out in the New Testament as a mission-focused leader who did not take things too personally. In the first chapter of his letter to the Philippian church, Paul writes:

To be sure, some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. These preach out of love, knowing that I am appointed for the defense of the gospel; the others proclaim Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, thinking that they will cause me trouble in my imprisonment. What does it matter? Only that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is proclaimed, and in this I rejoice. Yes, and I will continue to rejoice (Philippians 1:15-18, CSB).

Paul's mission was preaching the good news of Jesus. Some were on Paul's team, working toward the same mission. However, others, working toward the same mission, opposed Paul, seeking to harm him and his reputation. But Paul didn’t take it personally. As long as the church accomplishes the mission, Paul doesn't worry about other people's motives, even if it causes him trouble.

Paul's willingness to focus on the mission over personal recognition provides a significant leadership lesson. Unity is not the result of everyone doing the same thing the same way; unity comes from being formed by the mission. Paul knew the mission. When trouble came, Paul didn't take it personally because he knew the mission was more important than personal recognition. Paul committed to fulfilling his calling faithfully and celebrated as others fulfilled their callings by proclaiming Jesus Christ.

Church leaders, as we prepare to celebrate Easter, we have one mission—proclaiming Jesus Christ. The Church is God's gospel-driven disciplemaking movement in its various forms and locations. We know that on Easter Sunday, some will proclaim Jesus, motivated by Jesus' love for them and their love for Jesus. Yet, others might proclaim Jesus for other reasons. Even if they do, don't take it too personally. Let's learn from Paul. There is one mission—to proclaim Christ risen. Let us join together and celebrate whenever and wherever people proclaim that Jesus Christ is risen.

Who do you plan on introducing to Jesus this Easter season?